I sat down to write my January column and was going to fall back on the annual "In" and "Out" list and realized that I've come to a major cross road in my life. I no longer know who or what is "in." It's official—I'm middle aged. I feel like Justin Bieber should be out, but I have no idea who would take his place. I know the right answer isn’t Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, or even Justin Timberlake so maybe I’m not as bad as I think. Don’t, however, ask me anything about Bieber’s claim to fame.
As a professional organizer by trade, what I do know is that January is national "Get Organized!" month. Thankfully CVS and Hallmark are blissfully unaware otherwise we would be bombarded by "Happy Organizing" cards. Oh the thrill of it. Anyhow--January is a great time to get oneself organized--mentally and physically. It's a good time to take a deep breath after the holidays and prepare yourself for the year ahead.
Organize your goals
Organize your closets
Organize your stamp collection
Organize your thoughts
Organize your shoe collection
Organize your garage
Organize your files
Organize your vacation plans for the year
Whatever organizing you decide to tackle, it's bound to provide you with some mental clarity. With organizing, there is always some purging involved which leads to opening up space. My clients always gasp when I mention the purging part, but that's the piece that gives us room--room to move, room to grow, room to allow for other great things to creep into. It's the best part. Isn't the New Year all about out with the old and in with the new? What will you purge to make space for something new?
Old Gripes and Hurts. That's always a great place to start, but it’s definitely not the low hanging fruit. It takes a lot of heavy lifting to let go of the hurt caused by others. It would be so much easier to whittle away the hours dreaming of a passing bus with bad brakes crossing his/her path, but that wouldn’t be a wise karma move. Forget about the accident, forgive and move on. Your karma will thank you for it. And remember—they’ve got their own karma to worry about. Yikes!
Beanie Babies. I wonder if Doris Day or Sarah Mclachlan has ever thought of founding a Beanie Baby shelter where all the old Beanie Babies could go to live out the rest of their lives free from danger and collectors. Free the Beanie babies!
Memories of Ex Lovers. Aye, karumba. Get out the photos, dried flowers and cards you've been holding onto since 1989 and burn them now. Trust me when I say that looking back they were never as "right" as you willed them to be. “Mr. Phenomenal in the Sack” had his share of flaws. Remember those really bad neon shirts he used to wear? Or how about that breath? Holy guacamole. Someone should send some flowers to his mouth to mourn what died in there. It’s okay. You were just too love struck to see his true colors or smell that garlic. Some woman somewhere is dodging that breath right now and washing those bad shirts while you, my dear, are free to go find “Mr. Minty Fresh Breath.”
Mystery Electrical Cords and Chargers. Seriously? If you can’t identify immediately what they go to, they go in the toss pile. I know—trust me, everyone says it. “The second I toss it, I’ll discover what it goes to.” That’s an urban myth. By the time you discover what it goes to, the device will be obsolete and you won’t have to worry about it.
Over Abundance of [fill in the blank]. Let's just say that if there are four people living in your household, you don't need 30 coffee mugs. Do the math. If you are one person, you don't need 72 pairs of sweat pants. Purge.
Dead End Relationships. This is a tough one. We all want to feel connected and special, and yet sometimes we settle for less than we deserve for fear of being alone. Been there/done that, and I don’t want another t-shirt. I love the saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” Sometimes a season is just what the doctor ordered, and sometimes the reason is a lesson you needed to learn. Don't, however, try to turn Ms. Autumn into Ms. Forever if she's not giving you the love you deserve. A male friend recently broke up with his girlfriend of eight years. He's told me numerous stories post-break up about her disloyalty and secretiveness. He told me that since the break up, it’s been difficult because she calls him routinely to profess her love and try to win him back. Even though she’s cheated on him, lied to him and not been a really nice person overall, I could tell he was feeling confused and even waffling on his decision. Last time we spoke, he was even more confused as he discovered that she’s in a relationship with someone else and is preparing to travel out of the country with him. During our conversation he was expressing his hurt and shock. I was silent because I’m on the other end of the phone scratching my head and thinking, “how in God’s name are you surprised?” I've never even met her and I'm not surprised. I think it was Maya Angelou who said, "People show you who they are." This woman has been showing my friend her true character all along. He just didn’t want to see it. We all are guilty of it. I tend to think it’s because we tend to want to see the best in everyone, and that’s a good quality, but not when it’s at the cost of your emotional well being. What is the person you’re lying next to at night showing you? If it doesn’t mirror what you are showing them, run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.
Frienemies. You can tag team this one with the one above. If your friendships aren't buoying your spirits, it may be time to dust them off and decide whether you put them back on the shelf or toss them out the back door. Not being hard here, but life is too short to put up with friends who are constantly paying you backwards compliments. "Wow--those boots are amazing. They really make your calves look thinner." Buh, bye.
Utility Bills from 1976. I know--it was the bi-centennial and it has special meaning, but there's no need to hold onto them. What other papers from the past are you coveting? Tax returns stay. Dry cleaning slips from your 1989 prom dress go.
I think you get the picture. Don't fret when you purge--dance. It's a freeing feeling to let go of the old and welcome in the new. Clear out your space. Make room. Live large and invite a feeling of abundance to enter your life and cupboards now that you have all that extra room. And remember--someone is going to love that velvet Elvis just as much as you did.
Lori Welch is the owner of JCL Services, Ltd., the area's premier personal concierge and professional organizing company serving clients in the DC metro area since 2001 and recently voted "Best Home Organizer" by Northern Virginia magazine. www.jclservicesltd.com
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