Let’s be clear here—I’m not a dating newbie.  I’ve been on a date or two or 568 so there’s not a lot that surprises me.  Between my own experiences, those of my single friends, and our Single Space readers, I know there are some dating “quirks” and challenges lurking around every corner.  Dating can be hell, right? I must admit, however, there is one thing that I’m never prepared for, and after all these years, still throws me off my game:  The Stand Up.  Yes—that’s right.  I was recently stood up for a date, and it smarts as much at 40-something as it does at 17. Here are my initial thoughts…
Who does that?
I wasted a shampoo and blow dry on that?!
You couldn’t send a text to say you were hit by a Dash bus?
By way of background info—I’d had one previous date with the gentleman in question.  I was excited for a second date.  He appeared to be a witty, well-educated, successful professional single male.  All good, right?  We booked the second date for a Sunday afternoon outing, followed by dinner.  Sunday rolls around, and blotto—nothing.  I’m a chick so I mentally ran through our previous conversations and emails hoping for a possible loophole in the form of a miscommunication. Nope—there it was in black and white—Sunday invitation/plans for dinner. I went so far as to imagine a few worthy excuses—maybe he went for a cup of coffee and was broadsided by an SUV, leaving him in a coma. Maybe he slipped on a banana peel, hit his head and now doesn’t remember anything past 1982.  Maybe he’s a secret agent and got called away on a last-minute operation to Afghanistan.  Maybe he’s about to turn crucial evidence in a federal investigation and received court orders to be sequestered. Or maybe—at 44 years of age, he lacks the social skills of a third grader and just plain ol’ stood me up. Maybe.
I’m bewildered in this day and age that anyone, anywhere lacks the ability to communicate anything to anyone else. You can text it, Tweet it, Facebook it, Youtube it, and crazy as it sounds—pick up one of your three cell phones and call. There’s really no excuse to be a “no show” other than an astounding lack of social graces and/or respect for others. Period. If you’re 40 something, and are showing people the ghost, you really need to turn in your dating card.  ‘Nuf said.

Seriously—if you’re out there dating at any age, please follow a few simple etiquette guidelines.
Do what you say you’re going to do.  If you say you’re going to call someone, call.  If you say you’re going to show up, show up.  It’s called integrity. Try it and watch your dating life, among other things, improve.
If you’re married, please stop dating.  I don’t care if you’ve slept in separate rooms for the past five years. If you’re unhappily married, consult a divorce attorney before you put up your Match.com profile.
If you’re single, stop dating married people.  It’s harmful to the environment.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you aka treat others the way you want to be treated.  You read it in the Bible, and it’s the kindergarten equivalent of play nice in the sandbox.
T o keep things simple, why not approach new dating relationships the same way you do professional relationships? Try to be punctual, attentive, and put your best foot forward. I wouldn’t dream of scheduling a meeting with a colleague and then not showing up. Among other things, it’s poor form. Why would I do that to a date? Who knows—the date might not turn out to be a potential mate, but he may, in fact, make for a great professional connection. In honor of Father’s Day, I’ll pass along a piece of wisdom I learned early on from my dear dad—it’s a small world.  It may be big in terms of size, but when it comes to relationships and interactions with people, it’s miniscule. What happens if I stand up a date, and he happens to be the decision maker on a deal that could make or break my career a couple of years down the road?  Or vice versa—What happens if I act unprofessionally to a colleague, and he happens to be my blind date six months later? Oh yeah, and go figure—he lost 50 lbs, got his teeth fixed, and hit the MegaJackpot for $28 million. How do you like him now?
In professional relationships, I represent myself honestly and fairly.  In other words, I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, and I don’t profess skills/talents I can’t deliver.  Same with dating—I don’t present a false self. To quote one of my favorite men, “I yam what I yam.” First impressions count to other people, but they also count to me. I want to be the best person I can be the first time and every time. I don’t just pull that person out for important meetings or special occasions. I strive to bring my best self to the party all day, every day.  

In business and in pleasure, I am who I say I am. I do what I say I’m going to do.  Rest assured that if I don’t show up somewhere, you should contact the local emergency rooms. I’m single, I’m honest, and I live with integrity. If you want to date me, I would appreciate if you brought the same to the table.  I deserve that as does everyone else for that matter. I wholeheartedly believe in karma because I’ve seen evidence of it in my life as well as the lives of others. If you don’t believe in karma, please don’t stand near me during the next lightening storm.
In the meantime, let’s make a virtual pact to never stand anyone up—regardless of the circumstances. It’s just wrong. Start “The Last Stand-Up” movement to make rude dating behavior extinct. Tweet it. Facebook it. Text it. Whatever you do, show up. Bonus points for being on time or early!
Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads out there!
If you’d like to comment on Single Space, contact Lori at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Lori Welch is the owner of JCL Services, Ltd., the area’s premier personal concierge and professional organizing company serving clients in DC/MD/VA since 2001. www.jclservicesltd.com

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