That is the real question for today’s Renaissance woman.  
By now, many (if not all) of us have had a couple of careers, thought about the business we’d like to open, traveled a bit outside of our home towns, and maybe even reared some kids.  We’ve dealt with budgets, mortgages, debt and “fitting in.”
Searching, enjoying, and learning on the journey of life.
Yet at the end of the journey we’re still waking up, with ourselves.  And asking, “Is this all there is?” in a slightly exhausted voice.  (I mean, we wouldn’t want anyone to think that we’re whining, or complaining – because things are really fine, but still--)
Every year, right around this time people from 5 to 105 are setting goals and making resolutions.  
Perhaps they’re calling them “desired outcomes” or “pacts with the Universe” or “significant intentions in alignment with the highest good of all,” no matter what you call them, they’re the wishes we want and hope to have, be or do in the coming 365 days.
All well and good – having a focal point on the horizon sure helps you lead the ship to the shore.  With a desired outcome you have a sense of direction for your days and you can wake up and start doing in order to cross things off the list so that you can achieve your goal.  
How come you feel so unfettered when you reach a long-term goal?  Were you so busy being a “human doing,” that you lost focus on being a human BEing?
Remember the saying “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it?”  
We tend to fixate on the outcome so much that we miss WHY we picked that goal.  I hear it all the time from my clients, who have been inundated with the question WHY from me.  They get squirmy or stoic or frustrated or flummoxed when I ask them WHY having XX dollars will change things for them.  When I ask how that goal will make them feel, in their bones, and in their hearts, they say things like, “It will be good!” or “It’s what I’ve always wanted, I can’t put my finger on why.”
We’re in a goal-based, (Okay, materialistic) society here.  We’ve been taught since grade school that a goal is specific and measurable – so therefore 3K in monthly income is easier to measure than say, “fulfillment, balance and safety.”
Dudes, I do it too.  When I’m scared and pushed against a wall of debt, of heartache or a potentially empty workshop I freak and set a big honking specific and measurable goal.
That’s my fight or flight system clicking into place.
I’m not gonna lie to you. It works, in the short term.  Within a few hours I’m taking action and crossing things off the list and making IT happen.  It’s alchemy, this ability to make something out of nothing.  But the outcome is never as fulfilling as I think it will be.  Because there’s always another mountain to climb or hurdle to leap, and that is exhausting.
Because the goal, while tangible, rarely is the full expression of what I really wanted, deep inside.
Think about the things you think you want.  Right now, you’re probably creating a list of goals or resolutions for 2011.  Maybe you’re an organized goal setter – creating separate lists for work, for family, for love, for weight and for personal expression.  Maybe you’re a more creative goal setter, putting everything together in a mashup of your best life – cutting pictures out of magazines and creating beautiful vision boards to inspire you (or collect dust) throughout the year.
Why not take this process a step further as you head into 2011?  
Create an opportunity to answer this question about each of your major goals for this coming year (and any other goals you create as the year goes on):
“How do I describe myself, having achieved this goal?”  In other words, how are you a different person as a result of achievement?  What feelings will you embody after reaching your goal?
For every goal, list 3 words to describe “the new and improved you.”  Weight those words with emotion and depth.   (If you want a list of words, email me and I’ll send you the sheet my clients use when we do this exercise as part of their coaching program).
Here’s an example, my client Cate wanted to lose weight and find “the one” when she hired me as her coach.  Together we examined what that meant to her.   After digging a bit Cate said what she really wanted was to feel “bright, funky, fun and deeply accepted.”  
Once you get to the core of why you want what you think you want, it’s easier to set the compass to achieve the underlying results.  
How about you?  What do you REALLY want to feel in 2011?

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