If November is for giving thanks and December is for faith, I’d like to proclaim January the month of acceptance.  Instead of each of us trying to change/improve something, why don’t we just embrace and accept ourselves and our lives?! No—this isn’t the Spiritual Renaissance column.  My gal pal, Peggie Arvidson, does a great job with that.  Wouldn’t it be a great thing, however, if we started off the New Year with an attitude of acceptance—accepting our quirks, our foibles, our families, our warts, our bodies, our neighbors?  Instead of making a resolution to lose 20 pounds, perhaps we could practice standing in front of the mirror embracing our Buddha bellies.  I’m a fan! Of course, I’m a big fan of self-improvement and growth, but I also think it’s equally, if not more, important to love ourselves as we are…today…not when we are at our fighting weight and/or perfect dress size.

In December, I was running around like a crazy person (nothing new there, right?).  Work was exhausting—the holiday season to me is what tax season is to accountants—it’s nutty.  I run from one thing to the next, fielding requests and trying to accommodate everyone.  My house is filled to the brim with client gifts, gift baskets, donations, organizing supplies, not to mention our own cards and client gifts.  By December 12, I was feeling claustrophobic. In the midst of the mayhem, I found time to beat myself up because my house wasn’t decorated, my gifts weren’t under the tree (let alone purchased), and I’d committed to holiday parties that I didn’t make.  My first melt down occurred when, after having overbooked my schedule, I found myself running late to a meeting with a prospective client. Why did I make an appointment to meet a prospective client when we are booked solid?  Because I’m a people pleaser, and I don’t say “no” that’s why.  Duh.  Anyhow—it was the morning we had snow flurries, and you know what that does to traffic.  I called to say I was running late and said person responded with, “I’m skeptical about hiring an organizer who can’t make it somewhere on time.”  Punch.  Let the melting begin. The snowball starts with being over tired, and picks up stress as it rolls downhill. Then my brain turns into a hamster that starts racing on the wheel at Mario Andretti-like speed—it’s amazing. Then the hamster starts saying things like, “You should have gotten up earlier.  You shouldn’t have set that up during rush hour traffic.  By the way, when are you gonna do the laundry? Did you pay the electric bill? What about those reservations to New Orleans? You know it’s your cousin’s birthday.”  After the hamster reminds me of all the things I haven’t done, he cavalierly whispers in my ear,” You know—your life would be sooo much easier if you were in a relationship.  You’d have someone to lighten the load—mentally, physically, financially and emotionally. You wouldn’t have to be doing all this ALONE.”  I hate that frickin’ hamster, but I bought him some seeds and let him nest in my head for a couple of days. Apparently, I’m a hamster pleaser as well as a people pleaser.  

Several evenings later in the middle of making a bow for gift basket #18, I had an epiphany. This is my life. This is the life I created. I am busy—this is what I wanted—to be in demand by clients and have a reputation for delivering and juggling their myriad of requests.  I just needed to accept it and be thankful. I needed to embrace this fact, and perhaps even learn to plan better for it, i.e., take myself off the calendar from mid-December.  Instead of stressing about all the things I’m not doing, focus on all the things I am doing. I need to realize that while I love Christmas and decorating my tree, that no one dies if I don’t.  And if I’m late for a meeting and the person responds by questioning my professionalism, it’s probably not a good fit. When I awoke the next day, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  I no longer felt buried or trapped.  Instead, I felt blessed that I have a wealth of clients who have come to rely on me and my team.  I have friends who understand that I still love them even though I wasn’t able to stand by the fire and roast chestnuts with them.  I bought a wreath and hung it on the door.

The hamster was right about one thing. My life might be easier if I had someone to come home to at the end of the day—someone to share the day’s hits and misses.  For whatever reason, I don’t have that right now, and I need to accept that and be okay with it. If you read last month’s Single Space “Letter to Santa,” you already know that 2010 wasn’t a stellar year for me in terms of relationships and dating. It was frustrating at times, and honestly, hard to understand on many days and nights. Looking back, it all happened as it should. There’s wisdom in “hindsight is 20/20,” and I’m grateful to be where I am as opposed to where I wanted to be. Isn’t that always the case, though? I often reflect on some of the things (relationships, jobs, etc.) that I wanted vs. what I actually got, and somehow, it’s always a “whew—thank God” moment.

Funny—when I opened my puffy little eyes that morning, I turned on the TV to Joel Osteen telling me it wasn’t my time. Say what you want about Joel, but I think he’s on to something. It’s not my time. If I’m to be happy, I have to accept my life as it is right now—right this very second. Happiness can’t be contingent upon “when I meet someone” or “when things slow down” or “when this pimple dries up” or “when my Buddha belly miraculously turns into washboard abs.” Happiness doesn’t stand in line behind anyone or anything. I like that about her.

Cheers to a healthy and prosperous New Year!

Lori Welch is the owner of JCL Services, Ltd., the area’s premier personal concierge and professional organizing company serving clients since 2001.  www.jclservicesltd.com.   

If you’d like to share aspects of your single space, email Lori at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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